Raw Faith

RAW FAITH

Ever since bible school, starting back in 1990 I have been headed to the mission field.  Not knowing how that would look, but I was determined to live out my faith in someway, somewhere.  

Andy and I got married in 92 and moved down to Tennessee where he went to college, we had three boys and he taught a few years in the states and we were ready to finally embark on the long awaited mission that God was sending us on.

Since that first day, our life together has had many uphill battles and many downhill slopes, with beautiful valleys in between.  We have lived with much and have lived with little.  We have seen many with much and oh so many more with little.  But through it all, we have seen the faithfulness of God in every situation.  We haven't always seen it right away though!

This season in our lives has brought us into the waiting season once again.  Waiting to see what God is going to do, how HE is going to answer our long and silent pleas in the night.  How HE is going to show Himself in some mighty way...or in anyway at all!  Just WAITING.  That waiting doesn't always come with some mighty faith attached, or any faith at all, "if I'm gonna be raw here".  This waiting comes out of frustration and many more questions than silent deliberations.

  

Its hard to sit and watch suffering, even more so when it is your health, mental struggles, and your own flesh and blood.  Wondering if God loves them more than you!  Because how could a God who loves your kids more than you do watch them struggle, watch them wander farther and farther away from the faith you were so careful to instill in their tiny precious hearts when they were little!

Oh, the doubts and questions...and what are "missionaries" supposed to do with all that?  WE know all the right answers, all the correct head knowledge for sure....but sometimes the path between head and heart is farther away than heaven itself!  To be the ones that are supposed to have it all together is much too great a burden to bare.

  

This song by  "Mercy Me- Even if"  has touched my heart on more than one occasion, and the Lord has finally given me the words to share about it. One of the things I enjoyed about the link to this song (included at the end of the post) is that it also includes his testimony about why he wrote the song.  While listening to it, I found myself in his shoes at many statements he made, so, I have learned over the years one thing....

if the Lord says "say it", "do it", or "write it"...

I BETTER GET TO IT!

[Verse 1]
They say sometimes you win some
Sometimes you lose some
And right now, right now I'm losing bad
I've stood on this stage night after night
Reminding the broken it'll be alright
But right now, oh right now I just can't

[Pre-Chorus]
It's easy to sing
When there's nothing to bring me down
But what will I say
When I'm held to the flame
Like I am right now

[Chorus]
I know You're able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone

[Verse 2]
They say it only takes a little faith
To move a mountain
Well, good thing
A little faith is all I have right now
But God, when You choose
To leave mountains unmovable
Give me the strength to be able to sing
It is well with my soul

[Chorus]
I know You're able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt
Would all go away if You'd just say the word
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone

[Bridge]
You've been faithful, You've been good
All of my days
Jesus, I will cling to You
Come what may
‘Cause I know You're able
I know You can

[Chorus]
I know You're able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt
Would all go away if You'd just say the word
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone

[Outro]
It is well with my soul
It is well, it is well with my soul